Building Self- Esteem: that was the theme of today's 16 DAYS OF ACTIVISM lecture at the Leo Bradley Library. But the presenter also covered how self-esteem affects people in abusive relationships. Here's more:
Elena Carballo - Senior Library Assistant
"This morning were having a lecture aimed at building self-esteem with some domestic violence tips. We're trying to correlate - we have a lot of domestic violence going on and we think that probably it's because a lot of us don't have self-esteem or enough self-esteem to be able to walk out of certain situations. So our main focus is to try to give tips, I won't say educate, just help people to realize that I'm valuable and if I think highly of myself, I will not allow anybody to come in and take advantage of me."
Roselle Carballo Briceno - Counselor, SJCJC
"I was invited here to speak about building on self-esteem, so then my presentation covers a little bit about what is self-esteem, how do we build it and what I'm focusing on is mainly some exercises to actually build it for them. For example, I'm doing some positive affirmations, I'm also doing some gratitude listening and then afterwards I'm ending off with like mindfulness guided meditation, just so that the invited guests could start to practice how to build that positive self-thought - so that the voice in their head is positive and stronger than the negative ones. I think it's one of those things like you said that is easier said than done because sometimes we can work on building ourselves inside but then when we go outside in our communities, at home even, in the work place, we're bombarded by a lot of negativity. I mean it's not always intentional but it's there and so to build our self-esteem it has to be something active. When you think of domestic violence you think of a very toxic environment and so there isn't any outlets that seem positive and it's very easy for someone to be clouded with the negativity and then the self-hate thought and so it is important to spread the word. For example the people that are here today, maybe they have positive self-esteem, maybe they have a high self-esteem but it's also good to be a reminder so that when they go into the community, when they go home, when they are working with people, they can share some of that positivity and it starts to become like a domino effect."
In many cases, as an outsider, we tend to judge or frown upon persons especially women who stay in abusive relationships but Counselor Carballo Briceno says don't be so quick to judge because domestic violence is a complex issue and who feels it knows it.
Roselle Carballo Briceno
"The self-esteem is one factor of it, I mean we're talking about domestic violence, they're so many other factors that we're talking about. We're talking about poverty, we're talking about education, we're talking about the resources that they have. There are many things and that's why when we're talking about domestic violence, I think the best thing is not judge because sometimes from the outside it seems really simple and easy. If that's happening, this is your solution but when you're living in it there's many factors that affect and so it has to be a whole, we have to see the whole picture and so I think the best thing when we're looking at that is to be there for people, to listen to people, to listen without judgement because I think a lot of people don't say this is happening to me because I think our culture we're very quick to say oh well I would do this, I can't believe you're doing that or I would leave but it's not that easy. Sometimes we also think the same, like I would never but when we're in the situation I think it just becomes a whole different story."
This is the 3rd lecture on self-esteem and domestic violence held at the Leo Bradley Library.
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